My 10 worst habits/flaws

No one is perfect, right? I saw this question in a lot of interviews ~ yes I like to watch those ~ and I thought it would be a good subject to write about. It is good to sometimes take a step back and look at the things you can improve about yourself or at least accept your flaws. And that is what I am doing. So, what are my worst flaws?

1. I mess up my speech
It would be nice to know exactly why this happens. Perhaps I do not talk enough or it is because I am bilingual ~ plus learning two more languages. I noticed that I usually either combine two words into one or I am thinking of the next sentence, then start saying it before finishing the one before. If not that, then I say a word from other language and make it sound like a word from language I speak at the moment. I know, makes no sense.

2. I pick at my skin
I never really had any skin problems ~ except one lovely month when my whole forehead was inflamed with acne. Other than that my face was always pretty much clean. However I do get a couple of pimples here and there and THEN they go dry, and THEN they annoy me, and THEN I start picking at them trying to get the dry, dead skin of. I do not make any new wounds but I always feel like there are bits of dead skin I need off my face so I sometimes have a red dot or two.

3. I can be very blunt
This is one of my embarrassing characteristics. I do not have a problem saying random thoughts, whether they are (playfully) rude, funny, dirty minded or just weird. And I am prone to randomly embarrass myself which I do not mind at all. I like making people laugh but sometimes they do not get the joke so they look at me strangely. And I do not like to be judged. :(

4. I am very strong minded
I was raised to be independent. And maybe that was not the best idea because it caused me to concentrate on bigger things than what normal child should worry about. And that caused me to develop some serious opinions on my own. I sort of know the kind of person I am and I realise my perception on the world is usually different than anyone else's so that leads to some arguments

5. It is hard for me to stick to one thing
I am the type of person who wants to know EVERYTHING. However, my attention span is so short that by the time I just got into something I have already found something new. So I start feeling like this is taking too much time and I never get to being 'really good' at anything. Ahh, so many hobbies gone down the drain…Would you like to know more about those?

6. Sometimes I let myself go back to the bad place
This past year was really hard for me. I went to a really bad place where I lost myself, my purpose and my goal. That is hard for some people to understand but it often happens when you finish your education and you are free to do anything. I got scared of everything and felt forced to live by someone else's rules which I can not do thanks to being stubborn. Recently, I have been doing good but there are still times where I can not help but feel bad especially if I start my day wrong.

7. I am socially very awkward
I blame non existent socialisation process in my childhood for this. I went to daycare for an extremely short amount of time and have not had the best time there. Add to that the fact I grew up with a bunch of neighbourhood kids with whom I felt comfortable around. So basically, I never learned how to make friends and develop relationships with people. I get so flustered when I have to meet a group of people at once so I stay quiet and make bad first impression on people. I am sorry. But if you read this and still want to meet me, I will do my best to be my normal self. =)

8. I do not clean my room often
Guilty as charged! Cleaning is like a therapy for me. The state of my living space is the current state of my mind and it is not likely I will clean it unless I am determined to start fresh or I am just really annoyed by the mess. But you will be happy to know I do not have mice or cockroaches running around and there are no spider webs. I would never go that far, ew.

9. When fighting, I say mean things to hurt the other person
I do not like the confrontation. I always start crying when arguing, mainly because I find it hard to cry and I have a lot of bottled up feelings of frustration in me that come out at worst moments. It hurts me to fight with anyone and because I deal with so many emotions and hurt I selfishly want the other person to feel like I do for a moment. I don't know, maybe it is a way for me to tell the person that I am hurting.

10. I can not do something if someone commands me to
Just so you do not think wrong, I am polite and I do try to be genuinely nice. But if I am in a bad relationship with you right now and I feel like there is a lack of respect, there is no way you will get me to do something for you by ordering me to do it. I do it out of spite, I know that. I just can NOT be forced to do something if I feel like I have to do it because you expect me to because it is my obligation, and not because I would want to out of love. ~ That is a lot of 'becauses', I do not know if that even makes sense.

Please do not take this post extremely serious. I am not trying to bring myself down, I am just acknowledging my imperfections and I am fine with that. I tried to make it lighthearted. If some of them are a bit negative, I am sorry, it is a post about flaws, what can I say.
If you took the time to read this, thank you so much! I love you and enjoy your day!

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